4 Sep

[Barney visits Robin at the shooting range after Lily reveals to him Robin’s post-breakup depression]

Barney: Hey.

Robin: [sees Barney and takes off earplugs, still sad] What’s up? Thought you were going on some big date.

Barney: Robin, I know you’re upset.

Robin: What? No, I have I’ve never been happier, and this Anita sounds lovely. I’m so glad that the two of you just randomly happened to find each other. [angry tone] It just warms my frickin’ heart! [returns to pistol and fires again without earplugs, deafening Barney. Robin throws away pistol when she’s out of rounds and catches breath]

Barney: So you’re not upset?

Robin: Of course, I’m upset, Barney. Don’t you see how constantly talking about your conquests makes me feel like I’m just another number to you?

Barney: But you’re not just another number to me.

Robin: And now, you’re taking Anita, who you barely know, on this amazing date, when I never got treated that way. It just, it just sucks, that’s all, it just sucks. [pause]

Barney: Wow, I knew I was bad at being a boyfriend, but I had no idea I’d be so much worse at being an ex-boyfriend. I’m sorry. What can I do to make it up to you?

Robin: Nothing, Barney. You’ve already proven I’m not important.

Barney: Stop that, I’m serious. Ask me for anything.

Robin: Ok, don’t sleep with Anita.

Barney: Done.

Robin: Barney, of course you’re going to sleep with her. Why else would you be taking her on this superdate?

Barney: She’s not going on this superdate, Robin. You are.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: